6:37 p.m. - 2009-04-10
i had a dream that i called him,
and i said, "you're there?!"
and he quietly laughed, replying, "um, yeah?" and hung up.
i then wondered why i was about to head to his funeral. instead of him exclaiming to us that life was making him a fool, he had actually made all of us part of a horrible prank.
i called again, just to make sure. i was a little frustrated.
his mother answered, his father in the background.
"you what?" she asked. "i JUST talked to him, i called this number, he answered!" and she hung up.
i made it to the funeral, and he wasn't anywhere, no where to be found, invisible, or nonexistent.
at least i spoke with him one last time.
it really amazes me how healing dreams can be. no matter how vague, short, dark, or symbolic.
i hope i dream of a longer conversation tonight. one where i tell him that i never stopped caring and he better stay in touch.
a guy i knew killed himself the same way in 2003. a few months later, i had a dream that i called him, too. he answered, but i couldn't understand what he was saying, they're were kids in the background making too much noise.
later in the dream, i was on a road trip with my mom, heading to go gambling, and we stopped at a park that had a lot of kids there, too. it was in the town where my friend had lived and driven back to for the end. i walked into the building by the park, it was cool and dark, like a museum. people were standing around coffins, discussing them like they were works of art.
i saw my friend's coffin and walked up to it. it had pink flowers on it. suddenly, the casket lid moved over. my friend jumped out like it was nothing and came up to me. we smiled and hooked arms, and then started walking out to leave.
it was a nice dream.